Tomorrow I will go to Park Hills for Father's Day. We'll go to church and I'll stay for the day to visit, but Daddy most likely won't realize that it's Father's Day. Mom and I will tell him, but in just a few minutes he will have forgotten. He might ask me several times if I still live in that house on the hill. Or he might ask me if I go to school at Mississippi State. We're never sure what the 'conversation of the day' will be. The day won't necessarily be sad because of that.....just different. It's a difference that we've progressively grown accustomed to.
My father is a minister, and has been since a very young age. I have no idea how many couples he's united, how many people he's eulogized, or how many people he's touched through his ministry....but it's LOTS. Hes always been more of a listener, but when my dad did choose to speak, you could bet that his words would mean a great deal. He could quote scripture that would apply perfectly to any given circumstance, and he's composed and delivered some of the most beautiful sermons I've ever heard. And, while 'tenderness' has always been a little out of the box for him, my dad's ability to provide comfort to people has always been the thing that has made me most proud of him.
My dad has dementia. He is no longer able to share his wisdom, his advice, his jokes.....but glimpses of the man that he is still emerge sometimes. If we're watching an old comedy on TV, I still get to hear his wonderful laugh. And I still get to feel his hugs. And while there IS the cruelty of the awful dementia, the blessing is that, while he knows that Chad is no longer here with us, he doesn't remember the circumstances of that. So there always IS a blessing.
So, tomorrow will be different...just a shade different from Father's Day last year, which was a shade different from Father's Day the year before.....but still it's a blessing to be able to continue to spend time with my most favorite man in the whole world! Despite the differences, he's still my Daddy, and I'm so glad he's here!
