Good Morning All....
I have a bit of a heavy heart this morning, as I have learned that one of my dearest friends is facing a difficult illness. For many, many years, he's been a source of everything from sound advice to immense laughter in my life. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers. I would also ask that you remember three more of my good friends who are facing losses and battles in their lives.
I'm also feeling QUITE anxious about my adopted Rectory family in CT and the Hamptons in North Carolina. It looks as though Irene's course is set, but I pray that she softens her blow as she approaches the coast!!
After a very busy week spent in many different places, I think that today will be a day of quiet reflection. Life can literally turn on a dime, often with little or no warning. And so often we find that the things that we spend most of our time worrying about matter the least, as we look backward. As I've journeyed into the 'new normal' over these last three months, I've wondered several times, 'How did I get here?', and perhaps more importantly, 'WHY??'. It's the 'why' that seems to perplex me the most....and today I'm especially stuck in the 'why' of it all! God certainly does keep us on our toes! As we travel through the storms....the real ones and the figurative ones.....it's sometimes hard to feel His goodness, but our faith assures us that it's there. People often say, 'God has a plan'....I've said it countless times! I DO believe that God has a plan, but it's hard for me to believe that He PLANS things that frighten us or make us sad. However, I know without a doubt that He often uses those things that frighten us or make us sad to teach us lessons or to reveal His goodness. So, Lord, give us the patience and the resilience to relinquish all of this to You and the faith to find Your goodness when it seems so hidden from us. And please keep all of us safe!
Love to All!
Julie
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Traveling
Hello to All!
Checking in from a roadtrip out west. I thought that I would be able to use my Nook to blog, but I'm just not quite savvy enough for that, I guess. So, I've had to wait until I could get to a hotel computer that's a little more user-friendly for the technologically challenged!
In the past several days, I've seen some of the most beautiful parts of our wonderful country....some that I'd seen before, but some, also, that were new to me. In just one day, I saw 'amber waves of grain' AND 'purple mountain's majesty'! I've found that life-changing events help us to view EVERYTHING with new eyes. Beautiful things DO seem even more beautiful, but there IS that added 'bitter-sweetness' (a term that seems to be a big part of my vocabulary these days) that I'm seeing sites that I'll never be able to share with Chad. I know I feel his presence there with me....but I miss that giggle!!
I'm concluding this trip with a quick jaunt back to Missouri for my mom's 80th birthday. She has no idea that I'll be there, so shhhhhh....please don't tell her! I looked at the Saxony soccer schedule and discovered that there is a soccer game on the Tuesday that I was scheduled to fly back to AZ, so I've changed my plans so that I can go and watch! I anticipate another 'bitter-sweet' moment as I watch Chad's teammates take the field. While I'll long to see him physically join them out there, I'll know that his spirit is right there with us!
I hope that all are feelings God's presence today!
Love to all,
Julie
Checking in from a roadtrip out west. I thought that I would be able to use my Nook to blog, but I'm just not quite savvy enough for that, I guess. So, I've had to wait until I could get to a hotel computer that's a little more user-friendly for the technologically challenged!
In the past several days, I've seen some of the most beautiful parts of our wonderful country....some that I'd seen before, but some, also, that were new to me. In just one day, I saw 'amber waves of grain' AND 'purple mountain's majesty'! I've found that life-changing events help us to view EVERYTHING with new eyes. Beautiful things DO seem even more beautiful, but there IS that added 'bitter-sweetness' (a term that seems to be a big part of my vocabulary these days) that I'm seeing sites that I'll never be able to share with Chad. I know I feel his presence there with me....but I miss that giggle!!
I'm concluding this trip with a quick jaunt back to Missouri for my mom's 80th birthday. She has no idea that I'll be there, so shhhhhh....please don't tell her! I looked at the Saxony soccer schedule and discovered that there is a soccer game on the Tuesday that I was scheduled to fly back to AZ, so I've changed my plans so that I can go and watch! I anticipate another 'bitter-sweet' moment as I watch Chad's teammates take the field. While I'll long to see him physically join them out there, I'll know that his spirit is right there with us!
I hope that all are feelings God's presence today!
Love to all,
Julie
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The backyard
First, I need to tell you that when I re-read my initial post, I felt terrible that I hadn't mentioned Roxie and Lucky Bird, the other two members of our family. My dear friend, Deena, has taken Roxie to live with her, her two sons, and Maverick, an adorable basset hound (?). My apologies to Maverick, if I've mis-reported his breed. At last report, they were all co-habiting nicely. Roxie has become Deena's prime 'body guard', and I'm happy to say is NOT being a behavior problem!! :) Lucky Bird is living with another dear, dear friend Karen. Karen, along with my friends The Lynns, opened her home to me immediately after the funeral and again during the time that I spent back in Cape. Friendship takes my breath away sometimes!!! Lucky Bird has learned to dance!!
I decided to begin my 'official' posts by sharing my thoughts about going back home for the first time. Shortly after Chad's funeral and celebration, I left Cape Girardeau for awhile. I recently spent a month back there, beginning to get things in order. The anticipation of the trip back was filled with a bitter-sweetness. The 'sweet', as I looked forward to seeing my parents and reconnecting with the friends who were SO vigilantly there for me and my family from the very beginning; and the 'bitter', as I dreaded going back to my house for the first time....specifically, into the backyard where the nightmare began.
My first stop upon arrival in Missouri was, of course, my parents' house, where I discovered the 'love fest' between Dad, Mom, and P.J. that I described in the previous blog. All three looked TERRIFIC to me! My mother had been telling me in phone calls how good P.J. seemed to be for my dad, with their daily walks, etc. However, I found my mom looking younger than ever!! P.J. is decidedly good for BOTH of them! After a couple of days of rest and my mom's amazing cooking, I traveled on to Cape Girardeau.
My first visit to the house was overwhelming. Avoiding the backyard, I entered through the front door to find the house rather stuffy. I began making some phone calls, and, without thinking, walked outside for some fresh air. In the middle of one of the telephone conversations, I realized, 'Here I am in the backyard! And I'm ok!'.... The hurdle had been cleared. Though I wasn't ready to stay in the house full-time at that point, I found myself spending time on the patio upon each of my daily visits to the house. It was during a telephone conversation with one of my dearest friends from high school that I first referenced my feelings about being in the backyard as 'peaceful'. I realized that the horror of entering that back gate and finding Chad that day had dissolved into comfort ...a comfort that I HAD, in fact, entered that back gate and found him. I think that if the circumstances had been such that someone had come to me to tell me what happened, there would have been an emptiness...a missing piece. As it happened, I was there with him...and I know that he knew I was there. So, the very place that I had dreaded going to the most came to be sort of my 'hallowed ground'....a place that will forever be precious to me because, thank God, I was there with him!! And, more importantly, God was there with both of us! What a blessing that I can go on, KNOWING without doubt that, while I'll never understand the 'why' of it all, God was there! God certainly didn't cause it, and I'm quite sure that He disagreed with the decision that Chad made that day, but He never left Chad's side for one second, loving him through it all.
So, the assurance for me is knowing that if I can feel God's presence and goodness during the lowest, most frightening moments of my life, I can be certain, beyond doubt that He's with me (all of us) every second of every day....and He's SO good....ALL the time!!
I hope that we're all having a great day! My thoughts are with my friends at Cape Public Schools, as this is their first day with the kiddos!! Thinking about you always!!
Love,
Julie
I decided to begin my 'official' posts by sharing my thoughts about going back home for the first time. Shortly after Chad's funeral and celebration, I left Cape Girardeau for awhile. I recently spent a month back there, beginning to get things in order. The anticipation of the trip back was filled with a bitter-sweetness. The 'sweet', as I looked forward to seeing my parents and reconnecting with the friends who were SO vigilantly there for me and my family from the very beginning; and the 'bitter', as I dreaded going back to my house for the first time....specifically, into the backyard where the nightmare began.
My first stop upon arrival in Missouri was, of course, my parents' house, where I discovered the 'love fest' between Dad, Mom, and P.J. that I described in the previous blog. All three looked TERRIFIC to me! My mother had been telling me in phone calls how good P.J. seemed to be for my dad, with their daily walks, etc. However, I found my mom looking younger than ever!! P.J. is decidedly good for BOTH of them! After a couple of days of rest and my mom's amazing cooking, I traveled on to Cape Girardeau.
My first visit to the house was overwhelming. Avoiding the backyard, I entered through the front door to find the house rather stuffy. I began making some phone calls, and, without thinking, walked outside for some fresh air. In the middle of one of the telephone conversations, I realized, 'Here I am in the backyard! And I'm ok!'.... The hurdle had been cleared. Though I wasn't ready to stay in the house full-time at that point, I found myself spending time on the patio upon each of my daily visits to the house. It was during a telephone conversation with one of my dearest friends from high school that I first referenced my feelings about being in the backyard as 'peaceful'. I realized that the horror of entering that back gate and finding Chad that day had dissolved into comfort ...a comfort that I HAD, in fact, entered that back gate and found him. I think that if the circumstances had been such that someone had come to me to tell me what happened, there would have been an emptiness...a missing piece. As it happened, I was there with him...and I know that he knew I was there. So, the very place that I had dreaded going to the most came to be sort of my 'hallowed ground'....a place that will forever be precious to me because, thank God, I was there with him!! And, more importantly, God was there with both of us! What a blessing that I can go on, KNOWING without doubt that, while I'll never understand the 'why' of it all, God was there! God certainly didn't cause it, and I'm quite sure that He disagreed with the decision that Chad made that day, but He never left Chad's side for one second, loving him through it all.
So, the assurance for me is knowing that if I can feel God's presence and goodness during the lowest, most frightening moments of my life, I can be certain, beyond doubt that He's with me (all of us) every second of every day....and He's SO good....ALL the time!!
I hope that we're all having a great day! My thoughts are with my friends at Cape Public Schools, as this is their first day with the kiddos!! Thinking about you always!!
Love,
Julie
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I'm Still Here!
Hello to All!
I'm sorry that it's taken me awhile to get this new blog off the ground! Life's been busy...but a GOOD busy!
First, 'thank-you' is SUCH an understatement to express my gratitude for the many expressions of love that my parents, Annie-Laurie and I have recieved (and are continuing to receive) over these past three months! God, through you, is sustaining us, and we are truly surviving this!
Though Chad continues to be in our daily thoughts, life DOES march on. Annie-Laurie is back in her beloved Mississippi being VERY busy and also very happy. She just a couple weeks ago began her 'dream job' as a student trainer in the athletic department at Mississippi State and is loving every minute of it! If you'd have told me a year ago that Annie-Laurie Tipton would be up and ready for ANYTHING at 5 a.m., I'd have said you were crazy!! Her strength and grace through all of this has made me a very proud mom!!
My parents, I'm happy to say, are also doing very well! Our dog, P.J., is staying with them 'temporarily', and it's as though the three of them have always been together!! They're all taking care of each other, and P.J., though quite spoiled already, thinks he's in heaven!! Every time I speak to them on the phone, there's a new 'P.J. Story'! I placed 'temporarily' in quotation marks because I don't believe that I'll ever have the heart to seperate the three of them!
I decided to take a leave of absence from my job for the first semester of the school year, and am resting, relaxing, and continuing to heal in sunny Arizona. Waking up to sunshine EVERY day has been very good for my psyche! And with the low humidity, every day's a good hair day....HUGE bonus!
Cardinals continue to bless me almost daily! Amazingly, I quite often spot one when I'm talking about Chad....as if he's letting me know that he hears me! I truly believe that he does!
I've felt a little meloncholy with the beginning of the school year and soccer season. Those of you who knew Chad know that, while he didn't generally enjoy the academia of school, he DID love the socializing....and the soccer! I know he's SO happy that there's no homework in heaven, but I'm sure he'd leave there for one day just to 'kick around' with the guys! I know his spirit will be on that field for each practice and each game! Have a great season, Crusaders!!
Love to all of you!
Julie
I'm sorry that it's taken me awhile to get this new blog off the ground! Life's been busy...but a GOOD busy!
First, 'thank-you' is SUCH an understatement to express my gratitude for the many expressions of love that my parents, Annie-Laurie and I have recieved (and are continuing to receive) over these past three months! God, through you, is sustaining us, and we are truly surviving this!
Though Chad continues to be in our daily thoughts, life DOES march on. Annie-Laurie is back in her beloved Mississippi being VERY busy and also very happy. She just a couple weeks ago began her 'dream job' as a student trainer in the athletic department at Mississippi State and is loving every minute of it! If you'd have told me a year ago that Annie-Laurie Tipton would be up and ready for ANYTHING at 5 a.m., I'd have said you were crazy!! Her strength and grace through all of this has made me a very proud mom!!
My parents, I'm happy to say, are also doing very well! Our dog, P.J., is staying with them 'temporarily', and it's as though the three of them have always been together!! They're all taking care of each other, and P.J., though quite spoiled already, thinks he's in heaven!! Every time I speak to them on the phone, there's a new 'P.J. Story'! I placed 'temporarily' in quotation marks because I don't believe that I'll ever have the heart to seperate the three of them!
I decided to take a leave of absence from my job for the first semester of the school year, and am resting, relaxing, and continuing to heal in sunny Arizona. Waking up to sunshine EVERY day has been very good for my psyche! And with the low humidity, every day's a good hair day....HUGE bonus!
Cardinals continue to bless me almost daily! Amazingly, I quite often spot one when I'm talking about Chad....as if he's letting me know that he hears me! I truly believe that he does!
I've felt a little meloncholy with the beginning of the school year and soccer season. Those of you who knew Chad know that, while he didn't generally enjoy the academia of school, he DID love the socializing....and the soccer! I know he's SO happy that there's no homework in heaven, but I'm sure he'd leave there for one day just to 'kick around' with the guys! I know his spirit will be on that field for each practice and each game! Have a great season, Crusaders!!
Love to all of you!
Julie
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