It's been a very long time since I've 'blogged'. I'm not sure why, exactly. I've found that a profound loss and being very close to someone who has also experienced that same kind of loss changes one's perspective. I'm ashamed to admit that I've, at times, found myself being a little impatient with people....just being people...complaining about things that seem SO mundane to me, engaging in what I've often judged as self-absorption. And so I've asked myself, 'Why would anyone want to read about MY own self-absorption?' So I've been silent for awhile.
But as the season hovers between spring and summer each year, I now find myself being that ugly 'self-absorbed' adjective that I've been so shamedly judgmental about. As someone who worked in public schools for 28 years, this time of year was always my very favorite time! The school year was winding down, with summer days of rest and adventure looming ahead. I still DO love the dawning of spring, but as spring flows into summer, I find myself flooded with memories of that gorgeous, not a cloud in the sky, springish-summerish day when the world, for me and my family, came to a crashing halt.
Time HAS marched on these past four years, and though Chad's absence overshadows all things now, life has been unimaginably good. And there is peace....A peace that overrides my impulsive desire to shout, 'REALLY??? YOU THINK THAT A CLOGGED DRAIN OR A SINUS INFECTION IS A PROBLEM????!!!!' A peace that made my daughter's college graduation weekend, spent with both her father (my ex-husband) AND my 'significant other' a very happy family time. A peace that ALL of the kids that I call my children are in God's hands, and are just exactly where He needs for them to be right now. A peace that gives me hope and reminds me that God is in control of ALL of this, and His desire for us is contentment. BUT.....I must admit that I often DO find myself continuing to stress about clogged drains and sinus infections, etc. at times......
I hope that all of us will not take this springish-summerish transition for granted, and will enjoy the sunshine and the thunderstorms. The cardinals are making their daily appearances to remind us that we are all here for a reason...for each other....and that life is good!
God bless us every one!