Beautiful Garden, Beautiful Weekend, and Beautiful People in Beautiful Connecticut

Hi All--
I don't know that I've ever considered myself a 'true writer', and I don't know if I'm typical of others who write, but many times I 'write' in my head, sometimes several weeks, before I put my thoughts on paper.  I've said that to say that I've been writing about THREE blogs in my head, and I've been  a little preoccupied lately (which I'll address in a FOURTH new blog), and I hate that it's taken me this long to share our amazing weekend in Connecticut!

It really IS difficult for me to find words that convey all of the feelings we experienced that weekend!  I think that, by now, I've sufficiently over-used the term 'bitter-sweet', but there's really no other way to describe what I was feeling that weekend!  I have to say, though, that the sweetness FAR outweighed the bitter.

I was SO worried about being emotional as Annie-Laurie and I drove to the school on Friday night.  I knew that stepping onto the Rectory Campus for the first time in a long while would be charged with so many different feelings.....the joy of being in a place that Chad SO loved, the sadness of the events that led to our being there, and the ache of once again 'seeing' him at his dorm, on the sports field, and just running around on campus as I watched the students going about their day.  The first thing that I noticed as we walked across the campus was that I smelled the Easter Bunny.....and I giggled!  If you've read my previous blogs, you understand what 'smelling the Easter Bunny' means!!  Of course, it was the fragrance of the fresh mulch all over the campus, but I also knew that Chad was winking at me.... sending me a message that he was right there with us, and would remain there throughout the weekend.  Truthfully, I believe that Chad spends LOTS of time on that Rectory Campus!!

It was SO good to give long awaited hugs to Kerri and Freddie Nagle, Chad's dorm parents, Claudia Abbott, Chad's tutor, and later, Paula Robinson, Chad's upstairs dorm mom.  It truly felt like being home!!!  That evening we enjoyed the school musical.  The next morning, we brunched at Kerri and Freddie Nagle's home where we were able to get reacquainted with their older two children, Brooke and Brandon, who Chad considered his little sister and brother for the rest of his days, and the 'new to us' addition to their family, Ella, who is two-going-on-eighteen, or so!!!  Chad anxiously awaited Ella's arrival, and though he never got to see her while he was here on earth, I have a feeling he's spent lots of time watching all three Nagle children during this past year.

After brunch, we made our way to campus to arrive just in time for the conclusion of the Rectory Regatta, a race involving boats which the students had made themselves.  It was here that we first met Bill Abbott, Claudia's husband.  (More about Claudia and Bill to come.)

That afternoon was the dedication ceremony...the most beautiful and touching ceremony I believe I've ever witnessed!  Mr. Fred Williams, the Headmaster, opened with a lovely tribute, in which he shared that, as he'd gone that morning to look at the garden to be sure that all was in order, something caught his eye just off to the right of the garden.  As he looked closer, he realized it was a stray lacrosse ball.  Chad had learned to love the game of lacrosse while he was at Rectory, and spent LOTS of time walking around with his lacrosse stick and 'cradling' the ball (it's what lacrosse players do, apparently).  Another little wink from Chad, I think.  Claudia Abbott read a beautiful poem, which I'll share later in the blog, and a description of the garden written by Jen Fuller, the woman who created the beautiful garden.  Jen couldn't be there that day, but I DO hope to have the opportunity to thank her for her amazing creation, and to give her a hug in person, as I've already hugged her many times in spirit!  Freddie Nagle then gave the most heart-warming tribute to Chad....spoken straight from his heart, and reaffirming what I already knew.....that he and Kerri were the best two people that could possibly have been Chad's dorm parents, friends, and extensions of me during that time in his life!!  I've no doubt that God chose them for that task, and they so much more than rose to the occasion!!  The ceremony was concluded with a beautiful rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, performed by several of the Rectory students, a few of whom shared with me later that they remembered Chad while he was there.  Somewhere Over the Rainbow has long been one of my favorite songs, but it holds new meaning for me today.  I hadn't thought of it in the context of Chad's journey, but it DOES seem to fit perfectly! 

On Sunday, the Nagles, Paula, Chad's soccer coach Tom Washburn, and another of Chad's tutors, Jamie Johnson, were welcomed into the Abbott's beautiful home for cheesecake, Chad's favorite, which Claudia had made for his birthday the year that he was at Rectory.  It was a beautiful time of sharing in one of the most breathtaking and serene settings I've ever experienced.  The Abbotts' home is truly like something I believe I've read about it books.  Claudia and Bill's families owned neighboring farms, which is how they met as children and fell in love.  They truly are a couple who, without saying a word, exhibit everything that the word 'partnership' means.  It takes but a few minutes' time in their presence to feel surrounded by their love for each other, and for others, as well.  Claudia, Chad always said, reminded him of my mother.  And I can see, and feel, that resemblance!

It was difficult to leave Connecticut, knowing that it will be awhile before we'll go back for a visit!  Since Chad's time at Rectory, I had always referred to the people there as 'Our Connecticut Family', and our trip there only etched that feeling SO much deeper into my heart.  As I think about the Nagles, the Abbotts, Paula, the Riccis, Mr. Newman, the students who Chad knew, and all of the people who came to the dedication ceremony, I feel SUCH a rush of warmth and thanksgiving that each and every person there was placed in Chad's path, touching so many lives, but touching MY son's life.  It wasn't by coincidence, or by fate......it was God's divine plan that these people be placed at Rectory during that particular moment in time, and I'm SO grateful to Him for that!!  And SO glad that they will forever be in MY life!  Rectory Family, I love you all more than you know!!

---Julie

Claudia's Beautiful Poem

The cardinal's song is a melody
Sung on the coldest of days
His presence brings us serenity
And safe in our hearts he stays

This garden embodies his spirit
While his wings continue to fly
His earthly presence we feel it
That's why we won't say good-bye.

                                                                      The Nagles

                                                                      The Abbotts

                                                    Annie-Laurie and Paula Robinson

The Band

                                                            

The Garden

Friends--

The day after tomorrow will mark one year since the day my life turned upside down.  I've referred to it a few times as 'the one-year anniversary'.  But then it occurred to me that 'anniversary' generally refers to the celebration of something.  On one hand, May 17th doesn't automatically make me think, 'Hey!  Let's celebrate!' Quite the contrary!!   But on the other hand, May 17th, 2011 was the beginning of Chad's journey into perfect peace.....the ultimate of the 'bitter-sweets'!  As Chad's mother who loves him so and misses him tragically, how could I possibly celebrate?  But, as Chad's mother who loves God so, how could I NOT celebrate.....knowing beyond doubt that Chad is living free of sadness and pain......where every day is a perfect day.

A couple of months ago, Annie-Laurie called to ask what we would do during these few days.  We decided that we'd think about taking a trip after school was out on Friday, the last day of the school year, and my last day of work before summer vacation.  Just a few days after our conversation, I received a phone call from Mr. Fred Williams, the Headmaster at The Rectory School, the school in Connecticut that Chad attended during his 8th grade year.  He told me that the school was planning to remember Chad by dedicating the gardens outside of Hamilton Dormitory (the dorm where Chad lived while he was there) as a remembrance to him!  I am both astounded and touched beyond words by such a gesture!  To make a long story short, the dedication ceremony will be held this weekend during the school's Alumni Weekend.  So....Annie-Laurie and I will leave on Thursday morning to take our trip to Pomfret, Connecticut to attend the dedication ceremony of the Chad Tipton Memorial Garden!  And we WILL be celebrating! 

Incidentally, the date was a complete coincidence.....at least here on earth it was!  :)

Much love to all--
Julie

The Lunchtime Bird (One of two new bird stories)

Today, when I returned to the Middle School from getting lunch, I walked upstairs toward my room to find that a bird had decided to come inside for a visit. One of my friends, Kim, was already ‘on it’, trying to figure out how to get the little bird, first of all, OFF of the bell which was prone to ring at any moment, and, second of all, outside. Being the mom of a cockatiel  for about 15 years, and foster mom to a parrot, and having a new fascination with birds (particularly cardinals) these past several months, I definitely wanted to be a part of the mission to help the little bird find his way to more appropriate surroundings……and hopefully before the end of lunch recess, when the hallways would fill with fifth and sixth graders!

At some point, a third teacher friend, Jennifer, joined in, and, equipped with a trash can and a tee-shirt from lost and found, the three of us attempted to either catch the bird and take him to freedom, or to coax him to seek and find freedom on his own. We weren’t sure, exactly HOW it would turn out! Our building is built with the hallways making a big square. The bird, indeed lead us all the way around the square, with the three of us in hot pursuit. As we came to the completion of the full square, the bird got to the doorway to my room, which was open, and he flew in. We closed the door so that he would be contained, and I removed the screens from my windows. After the three of us attempted to coax, scare, coerce, etc….this little bird toward the window to no avail, we decided to leave the little bird to calm down a bit, and to hopefully discover one of the two open windows on his own. I had about 10 minutes before kids would be coming for ‘speech’, so I turned off the light, and sat to quietly do some paperwork. As it inched closer to time for my kiddos to arrive, the bird remained in the corner, a mere few feet from my window. I again, began an attempt to coerce him to the window. Finally, the bird lit on some file folders that I have in a rack right beside one of the open windows. I held my breath, hoping the bird would feel the breeze from outside, and realize that the breeze meant ‘outside’, and that ‘outside’ meant ‘home’! He seemed to be oblivious, though. So I said, ‘Chad! Call him! Tell him which direction to fly!’ After only a few seconds (I promise you this is he complete truth!) the bird chirped a couple of times. I said to the bird, ‘Go

with Chad!’ The bird chirped again and turned toward the window, paused for a second (I think to let me soak it all in), and flew away.

I had a small cry, and went on with my day…but with the reassurance that Chad and I continue to share a connection. Now, I concede that this COULD very well have been one big coincidence! I choose, though, to believe that it was truly a ‘God thing’…an opportunity for Him to once again assure me that death, in Him at least, is nothing more than a different level of living.

Thanks for the help with the bird today, Chad!! Love you! And thank you, God, for another chance to spend some time with my son!

Mom

The Best is Yet to Be.....

Annie-Laurie,

Twenty years ago today, God gave me the first of my two most precious gifts....a beautiful baby girl!   And, through you,  He showed me a new level of love that I'd never experienced or thought possible!  I remember rocking you when you were just a few days old, and thinking, 'She's so wise!!'  It struck me then that to think that a newborn baby girl could seem 'wise' was a little absurd, but that thought didn't change my perception.  And, as it turns out, that perception was absolutely right on the mark!

As you began to evolve into the beautiful woman that you are, I was so proud to watch your inner beauty even outshine your outer beauty, while that mysterious wisdom which God instilled in you has continued to grow beyond your years.  On that first of your birthdays, if your life had been lain out before me, and I'd been given the opportunity to orchestrate it exactly as I would have wanted it, there would definitely have been events that I would have chosen to remove.  However, watching you walk through those events with grace and a faith that's deeper than I can imagine has made me prouder than you'll ever know! 

You've been absolutely everything I could have dreamed for a daughter to be all rolled up into one little person!  I love that you have the femininity to be so much of a 'girly-girl' that you like shoes even more than I do!  And yet you also have enough spunk to feel completely at home on a football practice field!  Precisely the perfect blend of sugar and spice!!  In several cases, you've proven to be 'the voice of reason' within our family, and in the face of circumstances that would have positively derailed most adults, you've managed to maintain your focus and your faith in God, only to become stronger!  I truly AM amazed by you!

Today, as you turn 20, I want to tell you 'thanks' for your patience and your compassion, for being a hero to your brother, and for stepping up to the plate when it would have been completely understandable for you to fall apart.  You're MY hero, too, and I love you more than you know!

While I'd love to 'plan' your next 80-or so years, God has taught me that He's a much better planner than I could ever hope to be, and I have no doubt that He's got all that covered.  So I'll just enjoy watching it all unfold!!  The best is yet to be, My Love!!!

Happy Birthday!!

XOXO
Momma

The 'Firsts'.....They Came and Went and We Can Still Smile!! (Sorry this one's so long!)

Well....we made it!!  The holiday season came and went, and we're feeling, as a family, as blessed as ever!  Thanksgiving was simply beautiful at my Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob's house:  1) simply because we were all together; and 2) because my Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob do nothing half-way!  It was perfect!  Though Annie-Laurie had football practice (I still crack up every time I say that!) on Thanksgiving morning, she was able go over to Jackson to enjoy dinner with us, and to spend the night.  MS State won the Egg Bowl the following Saturday, completing the almost-perfect holiday!!!

Though we initially didn't think that Annie-Laurie would be able to come home before Christmas, the MS State 'Football People' took a break on December 20th, and Annie-Laurie headed home.  Less than 30 minutes after she arrived, 'the girls' came, and I was carried back to their high school days, when our house was routinely filled with laughing girls.  What a treat that was!!  We spent Christmas Eve at my parents' house, and Annie-Laurie left Christmas morning to go to Nashville to prepare for the Music City Bowl.  I'm happy to report that, once again, MS State prevailed!!!  Annie-Laurie, for all practical purposes, 'slept off' the week through New Year's Eve, before we returned to Cape for the remainder of our break. 

On December 29th, we lost my Aunt Mimi, my dad's sister. While it wasn't unexpected, it was still difficult to say goodbye.  Her memorial service was held this past Saturday, January 7th, Chad's 18th birthday.  It was another one of those bittersweet times, as we were so sad to experiene another special day without Chad's physical presence, but were so blessed to be surrounded with family!  There WERE plenty of tears, but laughter, too, as we remembered Chad.....hard to think about him without laughing!

In remembering Chad on his birthday, I thought about all of the things that I wished for him to be when I knew that he was on his way to us.  I wanted a brown-eyed blonde ALL boy!  I wanted him to be masculine, yet sensitive.  I'm not sure if I specified 'funny', but since laughter is such an important element in my life, I suppose that may have just been understood.  Well....if you knew Chad, you know that I got exactly what I asked for!  Though his life was short, I believe with all of my heart that Chad completed the mission for which he was sent to earth.  I may never know specifically what that was, but I DO know that he touched lives while he was here.  And I know that his memory still makes many people smile....and sometimes laugh out loud!  What more could we possibly want for our children than to make people happy?  The only other thing that I can think that we would want is peace.  Today, as I write this, I am content in knowing that my son has both of those things.....the ability to bring smiles to the faces of those who knew him, and peace.  All IS right with the world.

Tomorrow, I will face the fact that I am the mother of a 20 year old!  Yes, Annie-Laurie turned 2 exactly a week after Chad was born!  I think that's possibly the only thing in my life that makes me appear organized!!!  Though I'd love to gloat that I planned it that way, I have to admit that it was pure chance!  Tomorrow, a blog devoted entirely to her on her day!!

Those of you who knew Chad, do me a favor, and take a second to remember something he did that made you smile!

Love to All......
J

Never Change....

During his 8th grade year and a portion of his 9th grade year, Chad attended a boarding school in Pomfret, CT called The Rectory School.  Rectory is one of my most favorite places....partially because it was one of Chad's most favorite places, and partially because it's such a special and wonderful school.  Much of the staff actually resides right on campus, and many of them also serve as dorm parents.  Just think about that, my friends who are involved in education.  These precious people spend each day teaching kids, and many of them return home after that day (which all of us know can be a VERY long day) to supervise those same kids through their afternoon activities, dinner, studying, and bedtime.  And then they wake up and do it all over again....every day!!!  These are not people who have only chosen to teach;  I believe that each staff member must be called and ordained by God to educate children.  They focus not only on the reading, writing, and arithmetic portion of education......which, incidentally they do VERY well!  They also focus on educating each child to be the best person he/she can be....physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as intellectually.  I'm telling you.....these 'Rectory Folks', to whom I now refer as my 'Rectory Family', are not just regular people.  They are, each one of them, angels.  I know that Chad spent some of the happiest days of his life at Rectory, and I don't believe that I'll ever be able to find the words to express how deeply I love each one of those angels who so impacted Chad's life. 

Chad maintained friendships with several of his 'Rectory Buddies' and also with some of his teachers and dorm parents.  One of his closest friends, Lexy Carey, posted the most beautiful song on Chad's Facebook Wall, and I wanted to share it here with you.  When I wrote Lexy to ask her permission, she answered, telling me that Chad had actually sent this song to her only a couple of days before he left us.  Knowing that fills me with SO many emotions that I can't name them all.  And it also tells me that Rectory and Chad's most special Rectory friends remained in his heart and were as much a part of his life as during the time that he was physically with them.  On the day of Chad's funeral, a memorial service was held in the chapel on the Rectory Campus.  Lexy wrote and presented an amazing and touching tribute to Chad.  I believe she must be an angel, too!

Rectory Family, know that you are and will always be some of the most special people in my life!  Sometimes when I'm missing Chad the most, my mind drifts to Pomfret, and I remember the blanket of love that all of you wrapped him in while he was there and suddenly, I feel as though I'm wrapped in that same blanket.....your love travels all the way to Southeast Missouri.  I hope that you can feel my love traveling to Connecticut!

Love,
Julie

www.rectoryschool.org

Holidays......

Hey All--
Tomorrow is the first day of  'Holiday Week', and I find that I'm bracing myself as if there were a VERY big guy in front of me, poised to punch me in the stomach!  I guess this is the beginning of  'the firsts'.  I knew it was coming, and knew that there was no way I could ever be ready.   Chad loved Thanksgiving.  For most of his life, he was very much a 'family guy', and he especially liked his Grandma's cheesy potatoes and 'that stuff' (because he could never remember what 'dressing' was called).  We ate at a restaurant once when Chad was about 8 or 9.  He HATED it...said 'eating out is NOT Thanksgiving, and I hope we'll never do this again!'  We didn't....and won't.

We initially didn't think that Annie-Laurie would be able to join us for Thanksgiving.  The Egg Bowl (big annual football game between Mississippi State and The School Up North----we MS State fans don't say Ole Miss outloud!!!) is on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, so Annie-Laurie will spend her Thanksgiving Break in Starkville at football practice!!  So, I'd been racking my brain, thinking of what my parents and I could do for Thanksgiving that wouldn't seem sad.  Eating at a restaurant-----definitely NOT an option!  I'm so happy that my Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob have graciously invited us to spend Thanksgiving with their family in Mississippi.  My Aunt Judy is my mom's youngest sister, and has always felt more like a sister than an aunt to me.  She and her family have truly been instrumental in this transition to 'The New Normal'.  Annie-Laurie and I stayed with them that first week this past June.  Thank goodness, my parents and I will be in a place we've never spent Thanksgiving before, my Aunt Judy, Uncle Bob, and my cousins, Penny and Nicholas will be there, AND Annie-Laurie will be able to drive over from Starkville to join us!  I'm hoping for a happy family time, because that's exactly what Chad would want us to do!

I'm beginning to decorate for Christmas a little.....but I'm not going to worry about what the celebration of the day will look like.  It'll work out exactly as it should, and hopefully we can continue to happily celebrate the birth of our Savior.  After all, Chad lives in His house now!!!  And I'm sure Chad's been bugging Him about being 'Head Angel'!!!

I hope that you and your families have the most blessed Thanksgiving!  Take the day to tell each member of your family what a difference they've made in your life!  :)

Love,
Julie